4.3.08

letters from an "involuntary detainee."

to anyone it concerns: fuck off. 

way at the back of a clean white hall, you can hear the screams of a patient strapped down in his bed. right next to that room is my own room, room 409. i get milk at every meal, and the lack of mirrors prevent me from having any face to face time with myself. it seems that only the guy checking my heartbeat, blood pressure and temperature considers me to be "normal." 

march 1, 2008 11:32

i am writing the letters that you see on this page from the Dominican Hospital, within the behavioral health unit. that's right boys and girls, i have officially been 5150d. what is that, you might ask? well, it is when you tell people what you are thinking, and then they DECLARE YOU TO BE DELUSIONAL, and say that you are now being involuntarily detained. FOR 72 HOURS. and then, you get to make a plea for your freedom, and if the "GROWNUP DECIDES that you are "FIT" to enter society, you get to leave. ITS LIKE A GAME!! BUT WITH YOUR LIFE. AND WITH YOUR LIBERTY. and USING YOUR WORDS AND LANGUAGE AS A TOOL TO RETAIN YOUR LIFE. AND YOUR LIBERTY.

so let's see why i'm here:

  • THREAT TO OTHERS?       NOPE.
  • THREAT TO SELF?              NOPE.
  • GRAVELY DISABLED (UNABLE TO PROVIDE YOUR OWN FOOD CLOTHING OR SHELTER)?                           YES.
THE FACT THAT THERE ARE ONLY THREE CHOICES TO BE NOMINATED FOR INVOLUNTARY DETENTION IS IN ITSELF TO SUGGEST THAT YOU WILL EITHER FIT INTO ONE OF THESE CATEGORIES. 

but whatever. apart from the simple reality that this is a complete lie, what is the reason i am unable to provide my own food clothing or shelter? it is because i "have had an increase in delusional thinking and making bizarre statements."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THIS IS THE EPITOME OF ANY ORIGINAL STATEMENT THAT GOES AGAINST MOB MENTALITY. 

FUCK THAT. BY ACKNOWLEDGING THAT I WILL BE LOCKED UP FOR HAVING ANY ORIGINAL IDEA, THIS COUNTRY HAS DECLARED WAR ON ME AS AN INDIVIDUAL. BECAUSE I HAVE SMOKED TOO MUCH "POT," THESE PEOPLE GIVE ME AMBIEN AND ATIVAN AND RISPERIDONE.

would you like to know the side effects of ambien? of course you would. 


Side effects at any dose may include:

NO THANK YOU.
Side effects of ativan:

Adverse effects

Any of the five intrinsic benzodiazepine effects possessed by lorazepam (sedative/hypnotic, muscle relaxant, anxiolytic, amnesic and anticonvulsant) may be considered as "adverse effects", or "side effects", if unwanted.[5] Lorazepam's effects are dose-dependent, meaning that the higher the dose, the stronger the effects (and side effects) will be. Using the smallest dose needed to achieve desired effects lessens the risk of adverse effects.

Lorazepam has an advantage of being non-sedative relative to its potent anxiolytic effects, but sedation is still the most complained-of side effect. In a group of around 3500 patients treated for anxiety, the most common side-effects complained of from lorazepam were sedation (15.9%), dizziness (6.9%), weakness (4.2%), and unsteadiness (3.4%). Side-effects such as sedation and unsteadiness increased with age.[51]

  • Paradoxical effects. In some cases there can be paradoxical effects with benzodiazepines, such as increased hostility, aggression, angry outbursts and Psychomotor agitation.[52] Paradoxical effects are more likely to occur with higher doses, in patients with pre-existing personality disorders and those with a psychiatric illness. It is worth noting that frustrating stimuli may trigger such reactions, even though the drug may have been prescribed to help the patient cope with such stress and frustration in the first place! As paradoxical effects appear to be dose-related, they usually subside on dose reduction or on complete withdrawal of lorazepam.[53][54][55][49][56][57]
  • Suicidality. Benzodiazepines may sometimes unmask suicidal ideation in depressed patients, possibly through disinhibition or fear-reduction. Though relatively non-toxic in themselves, the concern is that benzodiazepines may inadvertently become facilitators of suicidal behaviour.[58] Lorazepam should therefore not be prescribed in high doses or as the sole treatment in depression but only together with an appropriate antidepressant.
  • Amnesic effects. Among benzodiazepines, lorazepam has relatively strong amnesic effects,[5][59] but patients soon develop tolerance to this with regular use. To avoid amnesia (or excess sedation) being a problem, the initial total daily lorazepam dose should not exceed 2 mg. This also applies to use for night sedation. Five participants in a sleep study were prescribed lorazepam 4 mg at night and the next evening three subjects unexpectedly volunteered memory gaps for parts of that day, an effect which subsided completely after 2-3 days use.[60] Amnesic effects cannot be estimated from the degree of sedation present, since the two effects are unrelated.

AND AS FOR RISPERIDONE...

Common side effects include akathisia, anxiety, insomnia, low blood pressure, muscle stiffness, muscle pain, sedation, tremors, increased salivation, and stuffy nose. Risperidone has been associated with minimal to moderate weight gain, with one study finding that 26 to 38 percent of participants on the drug experienced weight gain. [3] It has also been known to cause sexual dysfunction such as retrograde ejaculation.

Occasionally breast tenderness and eventually lactation in both genders may occur. Many antipsychotics are known to increase prolactin because they inhibit dopamine. However, risperidone is known to increase prolactin to a greater extent than most other antipsychotics, such as quetiapine. It is thought that once risperidone raises prolactin, it may cause non-cancerous tumors in the pituitary gland. This may recur even if the patient has switched to a different antipsychotic.[4]

Risperidone can potentially cause tardive dyskinesia (TD), extrapyramidal symptoms (EPS), and neuroleptic malignant syndrome (NMS), although the risk is generally less than for the older typical antipsychotics.

Also, risperidone can trigger diabetes and more serious conditions of glucose metabolism, including ketoacidosis and hyperosmolar coma.[5]



IF I HAVEN'T MADE MYSELF CLEAR, NO THANK YOU.

this is what "grownups" do. a child understands something that a parent does not, and because it frightens the parent, the child is locked up and fed medications until he passively conforms to the "rules" of what exists.

i am sorry that you feel this way. i am sorry that you cannot understand that god exists as something you cannot comprehend. but i am god and i do not appreciate being made to sleep away from the people that i love, nor do i appreciate your concern in that it has now become counterproductive to what i am attempting to do. help me or support me, but do not ever make the mistake of patronizing or trivializing me again. your condescension speaks more ABOUT YOU than it does TO ME. 

I am embarrassed that i thought you, as systems, could understand my place in the world, when you know nothing of who i am and what i say. your superficial judgements are barriers in your heads, and  i will soon splinter your minds like the toothpicks they are.

Dear _______________

i hope you of all the people who has ever come to know me can find at least a small portion of humor in the fact that i have been "involuntarily detained" in the DOMINICAN HOSPITAL BEHAVIORAL FACILITY. YES I AM CURRENTLY "5150'd" and i feel i have to say..."damn it feels good to be a gangster." I saw you the other day, you looked really good. there are times when i remember how you were and i smile, and then i remember the other you and i smile harder. i was always embarrassed about what i did and who i was when i was around you, but yes, your friend ________ probably understood what was happening better than i could ever tell. well, two years later and i am finally in a place where i pee in a little jar and take prescribed medication on command, and meet weird people named "BOB." Bob is a good guy but he drools sometimes and doesn't share the remote. Fuck Bob actually. Just kidding, Bob. I don't know what to think about you when you smile at me and touch my shoulder sometimes and then-- well, whatever.

I am here for claiming that i am the anti christ, the prince of chaos, and suffocating life. 

-i always loved you most


This is the conversation that will serve as the basis for my stay:

"What's with all the screaming and crying?"
"Oh, you know...just screaming and crying?"
"Sweet, can i have some milk to go to bed and sleep better?"
"Um, no. But you can have an AMBIEN."

THANKS FOR THE VACATION. THE GUY WHO SHAT HIMSELF TURNED OUT TO BE A REALLY NICE GUY. I DIDN'T HAVE ONE CONVERSATION YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. 

TRY TO GIVE ME RULES AND I WILL WIPE MY ASS WITH EVERY SINGLE ONE.

oh, and by the way:


Cannabidiol, also known as CBD, is a cannabinoid found in Cannabis. It is a major constituent of the plant, representing up to 40% in its extracts.[1]

CBD alone is not intoxicating, but it appears to moderate the euphoric effect of THC (which is an isomer of cannabidiol) and add a sedative quality.[2] Some research, however, indicates that CBD can increase alertness.[3] It may decrease the rate of THC clearance from the body, perhaps by interfering with the metabolism of THC in the liver. CBD does not appear to affect either the CB1 or CB2 receptors.[4]

Medically, it appears to relieve convulsion, inflammation, anxiety, and nausea, and to inhibit cancer cell growth[5]. Recent studies have shown cannabidiol to be as effective as atypical antipsychotics in treating schizophrenia.[6] In November 2007 it was reported that CBD reduces growth of aggressive human breast cancer cells in vitro and reduces their invasiveness. It thus represents the first non-toxic exogenous agent that can lead to down-regulation of tumor aggressiveness.[7][8]


Medicinal use

In April 2005, Canadian authorities approved the marketing of Sativex, a mouth spray for multiple sclerosis to alleviate pain. Sativex contains tetrahydrocannabinol together with cannabidiol. It is marketed in Canada by GW Pharmaceuticals.


[edit]

Pharmacology

Cannabidiol does not bind to CB1 or CB2 receptors but it does block the effects of cannabinoid agonists by an unknown indirect way[9]. Recently it was found to be an antagonist at the putative new cannabinoid receptor, GPR55, a GPCR expressed in the caudate nucleus and putamen[10].

Cannabidiol has also been shown to inhibit cancer cell growth, with low potency in non-cancer cells. Although the inhibitory mechanism is not yet fully understood, Ligresti et al suggest that "cannabidiol exerts its effects on these cells through a combination of mechanisms that include either direct or indirect activation of CB2 and TRPV1 receptors, and induction of oxidative stress, all contributing to induce apoptosis."[11] In November 2007, researchers at the California Pacific Medical Center reported that CBD shows promise for controlling the spread of metastatic breast cancer. In-vitro CBD downregulates the activity of the gene Id-1 which is responsible for tumor metastasis.[7]


[edit]

Chemistry

Cannabidiol is insoluble in water but soluble in organic solvents. At room temperature it is a colorless crystalline solid[12]. In strongly basic medium and the presence of air it is oxidized to a quinone[13]. Under acidic conditions it cyclizes to THC[14]. The synthesis of cannabidiol has been accomplished by several research groups[15][16][17].


the world has declared war on my mind, and so i will declare war on the world. i reserve the right to take any action i deem necessary to protect myself.

YOU WILL BE THE FIRST ONE WHO DANCES ON THE ASHES OF THE WORLD BOB!!!

1.3.08

PRINCE OF PRINCES

OH AND BY THE WAY, WHEN THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND TRIES TO TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD. UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU HEARD IT FROM. TODAY IS MARCH 1 2008. HE IS ALREADY MAKING HIS TELEVISION DEBUT AS A SOLDIER IN WAR. HE IS FIRING A GUN EVERY NOW AND THEN, AND TELLING PEOPLE HOW FREEDOM IS GREAT. THE ROYAL FAMILY IS GROOMING THEIR CHILDREN TO RULE THE WORLD. DONT WORRY. I WILL SLAP HIM AROUND.